


And At Last I See The Light

by Ice_Cold_Beauty



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: <<<< this is the most important tag methinks, Ash Lynx Lives, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Valentine's Day Fluff, buddy is the best dog, everytime i got sad i kept adding fluff here, i would die for shorter, sorry about that, there's some angst here and there, yeah so basically i fucked around
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29431362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ice_Cold_Beauty/pseuds/Ice_Cold_Beauty
Summary: Five times Ash is fed chocolate plus one time Ash feeds it to someoneORSix Valentines' Day in Ash's life.
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx & Shorter Wong, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, Griffin Callenreese & Ash Lynx
Comments: 20
Kudos: 77





	And At Last I See The Light

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this from my phone so there is a big possibility there will be typos. Also, it's the first time I wrote a fic so big *fans self* 
> 
> Now for the warnings: If mentions of sexual assault triggers you, I'd suggest you skip '2' completely. You won't miss anything. It's just Dino being Dino. I have not made it very explicit but still, take care of yourself. 
> 
> I love you all and thank you so very much for choosing to read it.

_ 1. _

Even when it's predominantly cold, the atmosphere is quite vibrant. There's a wide smile in Ash's face as he gets down from the bus and walks into the city.

It's the first time Ash has walked into the city. Griffin had saved enough money for them to go out for one day; away from their father and all other miseries. It's the first time they made the bold move and sneaked away from their house. Ash knows that Griffin would probably be slapped for this but the radiance on his face is too carefree. There's happiness exploding in his belly too. Ash has never been more excited.

He skips along the road as Griffin smiles down at him and walks in long strides. He doesn't know where Griffin is taking him but he's sure that he would have a great time with his brother. 

They go to a small diner first. Ash eagerly taps the table, channeling his excitement as Griffin orders for both of them. The diner is crowded with couples everywhere. Love is celebrated wherever his eyes land and it makes Ash smile. Griffin says that one day he could also be roaming around with a person that he loves and cares for. Ash is so excited for his future; he can't wait to grow up. He wants to feel what these people feel. And maybe, if it inspired him enough, he could write poetry like Griffin.

The food is nice but Jennifer makes better, they both agree. Ash isn't disheartened though. Griffin says that there are people who make better food than Jennifer. He can't wait to try them all.

Griffin ruffles his hair as they walk out. Ash pouts as he tries to set them again. He holds Ash's hand tightly as they walk around; he's too afraid of losing Ash in the crowds. Ash tries to squeeze back with the same vigor. Griffin laughs at that.

They keep walking till Ash states he's tired. Griffin picks him up and continues exploring. They reach a large store, so large that Ash can't even fit the entire view in his eyes. He's awestruck by the construction of the building. Griffin softly laughs at his widened eyes.

They don't buy much, just watch. Ash suddenly finds his strength coming back to him as he asks Griffin to let him stroll.

They both look at all the things arranged there in neat rows. Ash wants to take a picture of them. Griffin only tells him to stop being so embarrassing.

Ash pouts and just when he’s about to break for a run, Griffin holds him back. “Don’t leave my hand, Ash.” He whispers a chide. Ash puffs his cheeks but nods. “Where do you want to go? We’ll go together.”

Ash looks around the store. There are so many sections and Ash isn’t so fluent in reading all of them but he would recognise chocolate anywhere. He smiles ear to ear as he tugs Griffin’s shirt and pulls him in that direction. Griffin shushes him in an attempt to calm Ash's exhilaration but it's no use. 

Ash picks up the first packet and hands it over to his brother. Griffin turns the packet over and frowns at it while Ash jumps on the spot, waiting to rip it open and devour it's contents. Griffin gulps and pulls out another packet from one of the higher racks.

"Is this okay?" It's actually better. There are colored candies in heart shapes.

Ash gives his aggressive approval. They go to cash it out when he reads from the banner.

"Griff, what's va-len-tyne. Valen-tyne's day?"

"Fancy name for a Tuesday." Griffin replies. 

They go to a park to eat their candies. There is a couple beside them who are kissing each other. They are both old but their eyes are young. "Griffin, why don't you have a partner?" Ash asks with a mouthful of candy.

Griffin tuts at his squirrel cheeks and takes one for himself. "Because I don't feel like it."

Ash frowns. "But why would you be lonely like that?"

"There's different kinds of love, Ash. I love you and I'm content with that love."

"I love you too," Ash's eyes gleam as he's finally figured it out, "so we are in love, right? Are you the love of my life then?"

Griffin laughs and ruffles his hair. "You stop watching those rom coms with Jennifer first."

Ash huffs and grabs another candy. "I don't want to go back." He states.

Griffin sighs. "I don't want to either." He smiles a little as he looks down at Ash, poking his cheek. "But if we save enough, we could come back here and never leave."

"Really?" He pounces on his brother, almost knocking off some candies.

"Yes. You can help Jennifer while I go to Iraq-"

Ash's face turns sour in a split second. "You promised you wouldn't talk about  _ that _ today!" He pouts and turns away from Griffin.

"I'm sorry." He apologizes but Ash doesn't budge. "Ash, come on." He's poking Ash's stomach now but Ash purses his lips, making sure to not let any laughter spill. "Ash?" There's a pause, then: "Fine then." And he starts tickling Ash. Ash tries to squirm out of his hold but Griffin is too strong.

After a few moments, he pulls back and looks into Ash's eyes setting his determined hands on Ash's shoulder. "I will come back, Ash, you don't have to worry. I'm not leaving you."

Ash smiles because he knows it in his bones that Griffin would never leave him.

_ 2. _

The ride to the restaurant is long and when Dino slides his hand on Ash's thigh, he knows why he chose a location that far away.

If it would have happened to him a few years ago, Ash would have swatted his meaty hand away but through experience, he's learnt that that only makes it worse for him. So now, he lays back on the seat and spreads his legs a little, closing his eyes. He's trained to do this. In fact, he's  _ only _ trained to do this.

Love isn't made for him and what Dino and him have is definitely not love. Yet they go to a restaurant to  _ celebrate _ Valentine's day. Ash hates that day a little more every year.

The suit he's wearing fits his form perfectly yet it's the most uncomfortable garment Ash has had the  _ luxury _ to put on. It is suffocating and foreign on his skin, as if his body doesn't approve the decision of wearing it.

Dino makes Ash suck him off in the ride and Ash doesn't know how he'll digest food over that.

Before getting down from the vehicle, Dino pulls his hair - making his head tip backwards - and shoves his tongue into his mouth. Just like his hands, his tongue wanders everywhere. Ash has to hold onto Dino's wrist lest he wants to be thrown off balance with all that pressure that's being put on his mouth. 

On days like these, he wishes someone could burn off his body for good.

"Look what a mess you've made of yourself." Dino grunts at Ash's state caused by  _ him _ . Ash feels like ruffling his hair further and tearing that suit to shreds.

Dino probably reads his mind as he fixes Ash's hair and pulls him out of the car.

Dino orders a feast for himself while Ash is served a salad. It's a plain avocado and shrimp. Though, he must say, he's started growing fond of those salads; if they'd given him what they served Dino, he might have puked. There is a little too much on his platter but then again Dino isn't the slut here. He didn't have to give anything, only take.

"Did you like your food?" Dino asks with that malice filled grin, like he's testing him.

Ash nods and gives him the grateful smile he's looking for.

Dino then takes Ash's fork, with which he was eating the salad, in his left hand. Ash thinks about it - Dino is right handed - but doesn't show the skepticism on his face as he opens his mouth. 

Instead of feeding him, he pushes in two of his fat fingers into his mouth. Ash coughs a little at the sudden intrusion but holds them there. He starts pumping his fingers in and out of Ash's mouth looking at him as if he was going to be devoured. Even though Dino has reserved the floor for them, he would have preferred to not do that in public. But then again, when was it ever about him?

There's little tears forming in the corners of Ash's eyes because of the gag reflex. Dino has dropped the fork long ago and uses that free hand to wipe his tears. "You look beautiful when you cry." He states.

When he does pull out his fingers, there's a string of saliva connecting them to his mouth. Dino wipes it off on Ash's cheeks.

Ash has lost all his appetite. He wishes that bowl of food would just disappear.

But when Dino commands, "Eat or you'll be starving for another week," he forces down forkfuls of the salad. He isn't afraid of starvation, in fact he's rooting for it, hoping that it would give him an escape from the world. He eats because he doesn't want any of  _ that _ repeated on him for at least a few days.

On the drive back home, Dino has his way with Ash but holds off the  _ fun _ part for when they reach  _ home _ .

Dino places his hand on his back as he steers him into his mansion. That's when a servant comes in.

"Mr Blanca has arrived here, Papa." He informs him.

"Give him a room. I don't want to meet anyone today." 

Ash wishes Dino would have given some importance to this visitor; he could have used a break.

In his room, there's a platter of chocolates kept beside his bed. Ash would never understand how that old man could ever fit so much in his belly. His stomach is revolted by the idea of even smelling that dessert.

Dino gives Ash a small piece while he devours the rest of a chocolate bar. He takes small bites of the already small piece in his hand. The chocolate is exquisitely lavish but it's cold in his mouth. Dino never looks away from him.

Having lost his patience, he uses his thumb to shove in the small piece into Ash's mouth and it starts from there. It goes on for hours; Ash's body is twisted and turned as per need. For an old man, he does hold out longer than expected.

After some long hours, Dino snores beside him while Ash tries to move his restrained arms. Dino did it purposely because he loves to make Ash's life a living hell at every opportunity he gets. Ash wants nothing more than to wash what's in him and on him.

He sighs, knowing well that he wasn't going to be released till when Dino woke up and a little longer after that.

He thinks of what his life would be if he didn't have a father who called him a whore at every chance he got, a mother who didn't leave him right after birth and a brother who could keep his promises.

He makes one last prayer for death to approach him in his sleep as he closes his eyes.

_ 3. _

The air of the harbor is silent and peaceful. He takes a deep breath and takes in the salty air. His lips are chapped to touch from the temperature and the salt as he licks them wet.

Shorter and Ash are sitting on the outside edge of the railing, as if any moment now they are going to jump into the cold waters. It's mostly because of the adrenaline that that position supplies them. It's metaphorical to them being young gang leaders - they're always one step away from death.

Shorter swings his leg so that his thighs are holding the railing for support. Ash copies the motion.

He pulls out some chocolates from his funny coat. Ash snorts at him but takes one anyways. It's still cold but there's some cheap branded chocolate melting in his mouth and he feels warm.

When you're loyal to him, you see a different side of him. Something about Shorter just resonates pure bliss. It's actually impossible to not feel lighter around him. Sure, Ash has seen him cry too, but that's a given considering the hell hole they live in. His aura is bright even though he doesn't come from the brightest places or does anything to have that power. Ash would never say it to his face but he's very glad he has Shorter as his best friend. He also thinks that Shorter knows that and maybe, just  _ maybe, _ returns that sentiment too.

Ash can't even dream to be close to what Shorter is. Shorter thinks that it might have something to do with the fact that he was born  _ into _ that world whereas Ash was  _ forcibly _ dragged here. Ash doesn't give it much thought.

A man beside them proposes to his girlfriend. There's people around them cheering on for some weird reason. The lucky woman however looks very awkward about this. She looks tense and her smile is pushed. She looks like she wants to run away from there. 

"I bet my glasses she'll say yes." Shorter snorts.

"Of course she would." Ash agrees.

She clenches her fists and nods, giving the man her hand. The man looks like he's achieved the biggest accomplishment of his life. Ash sympathizes for him while Shorter makes a show of making a prayer for that man's brittle heart.

Anger starts seeping into the woman's face as the crowd starts thinning. Clearly, it was not planned.

"He's gonna get a good one when they reach home." Shorter huffs.

Ash swings his leg back and Shorter follows.

"What would you say if I proposed to you?" Shorter asks after a few moments.

"On a Valentine's day? Under a starry night? So cliché!"

Shorter slides closer to him and knocks their shoulders. He is seriously impressed by his friend's balance. "Come on. Indulge me."

He sighs. "Do you have a ring?"

"No."

"Then no."

Shorter gasps overdramatically and Ash already rolls his eyes to whatever he has to say. "So you'll just let our love go in vain because I don't have a ring? You won't stand by me if I come down to rags-"

"You are in-"

" _ Ash _ ! You break my heart."

"There, there." He pats Shorter's shoulder consolingly as his friend lays his head on the blond with a pout on his face. "Sorry to have cramped the vital muscle of your body that pumps blood received from veins-"

"Ash! We were having a moment!" Shorter shoves him slightly and he laughs.

Shorter is silent for a moment then takes Ash's hand in his and measures the girth of his ring finger.

"What are you doing?" Ash asks.

Shorter dodges that question. Instead he says: "Hang on, I think I have a substitute for a ring. Although, I think it'll get stuck halfway through."

He raises an eyebrow while Shorter pulls up his tank...and points at his navel piercing.

Ash's whole body revolts against that idea. " _ Ew _ , Shorter! That is-  _ ew _ !" He gags while Shorter laughs heartily at his disgusted expression. "And here I thought you were trying to romance me."

"I keep trying but you keep turning me down." Shorter tries to pout but can't stop his smile.

"Anybody would run away if you do that to them."

"How very mean of my sweet pumpkin to say that." He teases. Ash hadn't told him anything about his  _ very rational _ fear of pumpkins; he caught it up himself - it was that one fateful night patrol on Halloween - and he has never stopped abusing the power he has.

Ash fixes him an incredulous look. "I'm very tempted to push you off."

Shorter snorts. Silence falls over them again and the next time he does speak, Ash is already contemplating his decision to join him there.

"Have you ever swam in cold waters?" Shorter asks.

"Once, when I was young." Ash hasn't told him anything about Griffin yet; though he isn't sure why he's keeping that part of him away considering how Shorter was supposed to be his loyal friend and all.

"Can you still swim now?"

Ash just shrugs. "Why are you asking?" Shorter takes off his glasses and shoves them deep inside his pocket and everything is clear. He smirks and he takes Ash's hand. "No, wait, Shorter-"

But it's too late and they both find themselves in the cold waters a moment after Ash's protest. 

"You fucking asshole!" Ash exclaims and his friend laughs as both him and Shorter resurface and gasp for breath. They swim to the platform and help each other up. Ash swats the back of Shorter's head quite forcefully. He winces and rubs that spot but doesn't say anything. "If I catch a cold, you're dead."

Shorter chuckles. "Maybe I'll ask Nadia… oh fuck,  _ Nadia _ !" He immediately pales.

Yeah, Nadia was going to skin them alive when she saw them dripping wet. Or she'll take one look at them and close the door on their face. If that happens, he is going to kick Shorter's ass.

Shorter puts his glasses back on and helps him stand up. They both start shivering after a few steps as a cold wind hits their face. Ash shoots him another glare. 

"Maybe if we both walk close to each other, he could save ourselves." Shorter ponders and walks behind Ash, hugging him.

Ash blinks a few times. "You expect us to walk like this?"

Shorter's chin hits Ash's shoulder thrice as he nods. "Would you rather I carry you?"

"Don't even think about it," Ash hisses back.

Shorter huffs. "Thought so."

So they walk to Chang Dai with their hearts filled with hope that Nadia would look at their needy faces and let them in. Under a very extreme interrogation, Ash might just admit that the arrangement did make him feel warm. He kept fluctuating his pace to inconvenience Shorter purely out of spite whereas Shorter kept stepping on the back of his shoes, peeling them off of his feet. 

Nadia doesn't, in fact, let them in till Shorter fakes a small sneeze - and they have to hear about it till their ears bleed out, all the while Ash glares at him. But when they both sleep past consciousness, Nadia pulls the blanket over them.

_ 4. _

Something happens then another thing follows and two of Chinatown guys are kissing each other. Ash wasn't paying attention to the whole ordeal so he doesn't know what exactly happened but Shorter's gang seems extremely elated by their confession and some of his gang members also share the beaming smiles. Skipper, Bones and Kong are some of them. Alex got extremely drunk so he started crying about one of his ex that nobody knows about.

Skipper is practically glowing and Ash hopes, for his sake, that he finds someone good for himself in the future. He's still a child and Ash hopes he can always stay that way.

Ash, sometimes, thinks about how if he wouldn't have been at a certain place at a certain time, things would have been so different. Another child would have been consumed into this hellhole.

Nadia is smiling too, scratch that, she's  _ glowing _ . She says that she's seen them grow in love. Ash still doesn't know what he's doing there, but Nadia called and he and his gang had to go.

The cold is trapped outside; it cannot walk through the doors of Chang Dai. That place has only ever been warm.

Nadia brings out bowls of ramen for everyone. It's almost like a rule for Chang Dai; no one leaves hungry. She purposely puts one of the bigger bowls in front of Ash. She fixes him a look and he gulps; he can't get out of this one. But he'll be damned if he doesn't try. He pushes the bowl away by a millimeter and Nadia is towering over him the very next moment. She brings her bowl and sits beside Ash. Shorter is one the other side and he's looking away to hide his laugh, though the way his body shakes gives it away.

Ash looks around the room. The two idiots, who were the reason for this  _ feast _ , were sitting in some corner holding their hands and blushing wildly. His gang is occupied, mingling with the Chinatown gang. Skipper is with Bones and Kong, trying to talk to a tense bodied Sing. Alex is still wallowing in self pity but he's eating too. Damn it, he can't find an excuse to leave.

He sighs and picks up the chopsticks. 

Shorter and Nadia eat fast, without talking or making any noise - like their food is going to get stolen if they stop while Ash takes small bites savoring every bit.

Ash eats half the bowl with great difficulty. He sighs and pushes it away. Nadia tuts at his gesture of  _ clear disregard for her food _ .

"Tell me Ash, when was the last time you had a complete meal?" Nadia asks with a hand on her hip.

"Yesterday," Ash lies through gritted teeth.

"Where?" 

"That hotdog stall beside the library."

Nadia squints at him and her stare pierces right through his soul. "Which flavour?" 

"Mustard."

"How many?"

"... One?"

He can hear Shorter snort as Nadia bends forward with her hands crossed on her chest. 

"First of all, one hotdog is not a complete meal. Second of all, he  _ never _ has mustard unless a new guy showed up which I know isn't the case. Third of all," she holds his chopsticks to his mouth as if she's feeding a kid, "don't ever lie to me on my face."

Ash pushes himself away from the chopsticks but Shorter holds his shoulders and guides him towards them. He gulps it down, reluctantly.

"Finish it, I'm keeping an eye on you." She says as she proceeds to take the bowls from everyone who's done eating the ramen.

Ash could just say that she's not  _ his _ sister to tell him what to do but he still remembers the stinging pain when he did say that statement and Nadia had twisted his ear. But even her harsh admonishments have a gentle side to them.

Ash sighs and stuffs himself with that delicious ramen. Shorter even gets Skipper to cheer him on when he reaches the end. He hates them both.

He's filled to the brink but he isn't talking in an anatomical sense; it's more emotional.

Nadia takes his bowl and returns with a very large bar of chocolate.

"You've got to be kidding-" 

"I know you'd throw a fit." Nadia laughs softly and ruffles his hair. "But it's Valentine's day and I am going to give you three some dessert." She says as Sing stands beside Shorter.

"Where'd you get that from?" Shorter asks while Ash whines. She just shrugs.

Encased in the middle of the bar is a heart and since that is the smallest piece, she gives it to Ash. Ash makes a face but takes it. She breaks the rest of the bar in three pieces and gives one to Shorter and Sing keeping the rest for herself. 

Their cozy shell is broken when Alex falls on his ass, passing out. 

"Someone take him home." Ash orders and Bones and Kong immediately help him up, not without taking a picture for future use.

"Boss, I forgot to tell you something." Skipper comes to stand beside him.

He hums through a mouthful of chocolate for the boy to continue.

"There's a photographer and his assistant who want to interview us. As in the gang."

Ash promptly chokes on the dessert in his mouth. After having a sip of water and regaining his breath he gives Skipper an incredulous stare. "They want to  _ what _ ?"

"Interview." Skipper repeats seemingly unfazed and not understanding the point.

" _ No _ ." Ash says with wide eyes. "Why the fuck would I let that happen?"

Skipper's eyes get all big and innocent. "Please?"

"Why are  _ you _ rooting for it?"

"Because it's an interview. Of us. Someone takes interest in us. Boss, come on!"

Ash doesn't know how to feel about the fact that someone finds them  _ interesting _ . "I think the fuck not."

Skipper pouts while Shorter laughs from where he was hearing the conversation. "If you convince him, I'll buy you your pair of glasses." He offers and that child's eyes are almost set with determination which is dangerous for Ash since Skipper has a natural talent of convincing anyone to do anything; it's one of the many ways he makes himself useful.

Ash snatches the Shorter's glasses, too quick for the latter to process, and hands it to Skipper. Except, Shorter twists his hand and takes them back. "Nobody takes my glasses, Ash." He reprimands but there's humor in his eyes.

Ash blinks innocently. "Not even me, the love of your life?"

"You are an exception, but first I'd like to plant a pumpkin garden with you, around my glasses." Shorter smiles and Ash looks like he's going to strangle him.  _ In public? Seriously? _ He gets up from his seat.

"I'm leaving now."

Shorter grabs his wrist, not roughly so. "Hey, you can't leave! Who's gonna help us clean this shit then?"

He sighs and rubs his temples with his free hand. "I know. I'll be back in twenty minutes. Can I?" He points at his wrist and Shorter let's him go.

"Go there and come back safely," Nadia shouts from the kitchen. He grunts back a response and looks at Skipper conveying a message through his eyes and Skipper smiles understandingly.

He walks straight to Dr Meredith's office. 

He nods at the doctor in greeting and the doctor leaves Ash and his brother alone. Griffin's eyes are still dead, wandering away in a world far from theirs.

It's grounding in a way. Here he's reminded of what he has. What he deserves and what somehow made its way into his life. What he's given and what he can give. What he is and what he will always be.

Love isn't for him. He doesn't know how to feel it let alone reciprocate it.

He rests his head on Griffin's lap. When they were young, they'd decided to run away to the city. Now they're here and it's nothing like they dreamed about. They made it here but at what cost?

He doesn't ever cry there; he's sure Griffin can see him. He looks up in those beautifully dead eyes and squeezes Griffin's hands, giving him a sideways hug before leaving.

Shorter throws a rag on Ash's face the moment he enters through the back door of Chang Dai. "You're five seconds late! Is this the respect you have for this place? You fucking moron!" Shorter makes quite an accurate impression of his sister. 

There's a faint blush of embarrassment on Nadia's cheeks but her voice booms as she says, "Shut up or you're going to starve for the rest of your life."

_ 5. _

Ash can sense a certain discomfort in the room. He doesn't know what is the cause of it, but he knows that it exists. 

His normally composed second-in-command is shaking his leg too much. Bones and Kong are unnaturally silent and he thinks that they've probably stopped breathing. Cain looks like he knows something but has no plans to share that information with him. Sing didn't even come here for their so called meeting. Ash figures it might have something to do with the fact that today is Valentine's day and all of them are hiding their partners.

Ash sighs and calls it a day.  Their faces immediately light up. Even Cain's neutral face has a slight smirk on it.

He gets the feeling of being in love. Of wanting someone and vowing to share every smile and tear with them. Of protecting them from anything hurtful. Of losing all senses and forgetting themselves. Of the comfort of holding their hand, to just know that they're  _ here _ . And maybe that's why he lets them go.

Ash understands love. He's had someone really special teach it to him. He reads the letter every night to relive that feeling.

He walks the guys out of his apartment. They still have the condo, but Ash finds no reason to live there now. Dino is dead and he doesn't need those riches. He's very comfortable in that rundown flat, thank you very much. It's small but it's enough.

Before leaving, Alex stands by the door. "Have a good night boss." He says and there's a smile on his face. Ash squints his eyes - Alex never says something like that - but finds that there's no underlying message there.

"Yeah." He grunts and shuts the door. He'd had a sandwich a while ago; he's not hungry. He's going to sleep. If he can.

He considers texting Eiji through the phone that Max gave him; it's morning there and Eiji is definitely awake. But he's a fucking cowards and his thumbs stop working after typing out the  _ h _ in  _ hi _ . Instead, he pulls out the letter from inside the pillowcase of the one that he sleeps on.

Before actually reading it, he looks around the room to make sure everything is fine. But it wasn't; the window was open. And he was damn sure he had shut it. He peeps out of it and checks around to find anyone who might have done it. There is only an unassuming guy on the ground, tying his shoelaces or something like that. Nevertheless, Ash locks his window, draws the curtains and loads his gun. He'd promised Eiji he'd be safe and he's going to keep that promise. Only for Eiji.

Keeping his ears and other senses perked, he starts reading the letter, a smile growing one his face as he reads it. It's hard not to. 

_ You asked me over and over if you scared me. But I never feared you, not once. _

Ash always feels like the wind has been knocked out of his lungs when he reads that part. Those lines were like a gentle caress on his face, tucking his hair behind his ear.

Just then, someone knocks on his door accompanied with an "Ash, open up. It's me, Max." 

Ash sighs and attends the door. "What?"

Along with Max, there's Michael holding his father's hand. Weirdly though, he looks like he's trying not to laugh. Ash shrugs it off.

"Ah, nothing. Just wanted to check up on you. Everything alright?" Max asks with a nervous laugh, peeping into his house.

Ash raises an eyebrow. "Really?"

Max and Michael shrug together. "Yeah."

"I'm good." He's really trying to not scowl hard because Michael is also there but it's proving to be a difficult job. He really hates it when he's interrupted while reading the letter.

"Okay." Max hugs him and pats his back. He closes the door then.

Weird.

Anyways. He proceeds with the letter, the smile making its way back to his face.

_ My soul is always with you. _

And it is. He'd felt Eiji right there with him when he was hospitalized after the whole library thing. Whenever Ash would get the chance to call him back, he'd feel that Eiji was sitting right beside him and they were having a normal chat. Eiji never left him. And some part of him never wants to leave Eiji.

He closes his eyes and relishes in the warmth that the letter eludes. That's when he hears a knock on the window. He can see the silhouette of a person holding the water pipe beside the window frame for support. He can shoot them but he doesn't; if someone wanted to kill him they won't be considerate and polite to knock. 

He keeps his loaded gun ready in his hand as he walks to the window, making no noise. In a swift motion, he pulls open the curtains and aims the gun at their head. The attacker is none other than - you guessed it - Okumura Eiji. He gives Ash an increduled expression that reads  _ what the fuck _ and points at the locked window. He has a packet of something in between his lips and hence can't speak. He also has a jacket tied around his waist, probably to combat the cold.

Ash quickly unlocks the window and throws the gun on the bed. Eiji spits the packet on the floor and makes his way in with Ash's help.

"I had managed to open the window with great difficulty, trying not to make any noise! Why'd you lock it?" Eiji asks with a pout while gasping for breath from where he's on the floor.

"Wait, you opened it?"

"Yes-"

"How long were you standing there?"

"Ah, I wasn't" Eiji rubs the back of his head in an embarrassed gesture, "first time I dropped the packet so I had to climb up again." He looks down at his shirt which is covered in grime and Ash embarks on a quest to find his cleanest as a replacement from all the shit that's been thrown haphazardly in his room.

He looks up from under the bed and offers his cleanest garment to Eiji."So what you're telling me is that you climbed up three floors  _ twice _ ? Why? No, the bigger question is what are doing here? How'd you get my address? Who brought you here? How-"

"I'll answer everything," Eiji says after changing his shirt and turning to look at Ash again, "but first-" he says and opens his arms in invitation. They have their own magnetic pull as Ash finds himself being drawn towards them. He rests his head on Eiji's shoulder while the shorter man pats his back soothingly. "And here I thought that you'd say how you missed me."

"Were you counting on it?" Ash teases.

"No, but I did miss you." He squeezes Ash a little but not suffocatingly so.

"I missed you too." Ash admits in a whisper.

Eiji picks up the packet of... chocolates and nudges Ash outside the bedroom. They sit on the couch and Eiji rips and tears the packet in between them commenting about how cheap they were on that day. When Ash asks him why he bought it at all, he says that he was meeting Ash after a long while and decided to buy something sweet for him (since Ash has a big sweet tooth). Ash picks up one.

"Let's start with why you climbed up three storeys twice."

"One, because I was a pole vaulter." He replies through a mouthful of chocolate. "And two, because there were rats on the stairs."

Ash snorts. "Didn't know pole vaulting meant you could climb walls."

"Now you know."

Ash rolls his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

Eiji pouts. "I thought you'd be happier to see me."

"Eiji, my dearest, what the fuck are you doing here?" 

"Transfer student."

" _ Transfer student _ ?!"

"Yeah." He admits sheepishly. "It's a long story. So four months ago, Ibe san had an exhibition in Japan and he used some of my pictures; - he had this one corner to boost new photographers. One of the guests, a renowned photographer, really loved my pictures. She took me to one of her photoshoots as an assistant and asked me to take some demo pictures. I was shaking - she is a very strict person so my reaction was obvious - and I made a whole scene because she won't start without me taking the pictures. At that time, she didn't tell me that we were early and she'd already talked to her team and the model. So I apologized-"

"Of course you did-"

"So I apologized to the model for taking her time and took some pictures. She kept guiding me through it. She said that she loved my work and she wanted to offer me an internship. But since I was in college, she didn't want my education to stop. She takes a photography course in a college whenever her schedule permits and she talked over there for my admission. We worked it out on both sides and here I am."

Ash blinks thrice. "So this has been going on since four months?"

"Actually, I was supposed to be here a month ago but oka- I mean my mom got a little sick so it got a little delayed." He takes another chocolate. "I don't get a break because of that. My classes start the day after tomorrow."

Ash looks at him through wide eyes. "Who else knows?"

"Well," Eiji rubs the back of his head sheepishly, "everyone except you. Sing came to pick me up from the airport day before yesterday-"

" _ Day before Yesterday _ ?"

"And he also dropped me here today. Max helped me settle in with my roommate. Bones and Kong helped too. And Cain and Alex covered up for them so you wouldn't know that I'm here."

Traitors. Ash was living among traitors. It all makes sense now. He fucking hates them all.

"Why am I the last one to know?" Ash asks quite petulantly.

"Because it was a surprise!" Eiji says with glittering eyes and jazz hands. He scowls harder. Eiji holds up a piece of chocolate as an olive branch. He yanks it out of Eiji's hand with his teeth.

Eiji whines and tugs his sleeve. "Ash! Don't be like that." But Ash just pouts harder and he's sure that his lower lip is protruding out.

Eiji sighs. "Okay, do you want a kiss?"

Ash whiplashes so hard he's sure he's cramped his neck. " _ What _ ?"

"A kiss? Do you want one?" Eiji asks with innocent eyes as if kissing each other was normal for them.

Or is it?

Ash always had a text from Eiji and he would respond whenever he had the luxury to. They'd call frequently and it went on for hours. In fact, Eiji would wait for them, throwing everything away to talk to Ash. A part of Ash also knew that he was pining for Eiji. Hard. His entire gang knew, they just didn't have the balls to say anything. Wait, it all makes sense why they'd want to participate in the so-called surprise.

_ Were they dating? _

Ash had never dated anyone in his life! Who's going to tell him? Or had they already discussed it during their phone calls, when Ash was too busy imagining Eiji sitting right beside him and not half way across the world.

Ash feels a blush creeping its way in. His heart beat is fastening. He's also sure that his hands are now miraculously sweaty.

Ash bites the inside of his cheek. "Do you want to give me a kiss?"  _ Why is his voice so timid?!  _

Eiji smiles wide and beautiful. "I want to give you all my kisses."

"Okay then." He leans forward as Eiji rummages for something in his jacket. His blush is darkening with every fucking second.  _ Why couldn't it be over already? _

Eiji offers him a handful of Kisses. Ash picks up the chocolate and looks at it quizzically. 

"My roommate is quite fond of Kisses so if you don't like them I'll give it to him." Eiji says after studying Ash's expression.

_ Why'd you gotta be like that Hershey's? _

Ash wishes that a big hole would form under his seat and swallow him whole. 

"Are you still angry?" Eiji asks in a small voice.

"No. It's just that I thought you were talking about some other kiss." Ash immediately regrets his words the moment they slip out of his mouth.  _ Fucking dumb asshole! You dug your own grave! _

Eiji tilts his head. "Which other kiss… oh." Ash's face is an unhealthy shade of red while Eiji has a pink dusting on his cheeks. After a second, he wears a teasing smile on his face, though the pink coloration is still present. "You want  _ that _ kiss, Ash?" He leans forwards and makes those mundane kissing noises.

Ash pushes him back and he's pretty sure his face is combusting right now. " _ Shut up! _ "

_ +1 _

Ash hears a small  _ Tadaima  _ from the living room and grunts out something that on very close and intent hearing would sound like  _ Okaeri _ . Eiji hasn't made it to the bedroom yet but he can hear voices from the kitchen to know that he's still here.

After a few moments, he hears an enthusiastic  _ Ash! _ and that is the only warning he gets before Eiji pounces on him. Eiji's been doing that for years now, so he's used to it and he barely even stirs in his sleep. Buddy barks beside them, jumping along to Eiji's aggressive cuddling. His husband's long hair tickles him but he doesn't move. Ash would never understand how someone could feel fresh after a strenuous activity such as running.

"Ash, it's the first Valentine's day of our married life! You  _ have _ to wake up.  _ Now _ !" Eiji whines and pokes his cheek. He slides away from Ash and pokes his arm. "Ash! Get up!" Ash turns so now he's sleeping on his back. Eiji traces the ring on his hand and waits for a few moments. When Ash shows no sign of waking up, he sighs. "Buddy, will you help me wake him up."

Before Ash can move and hide away, Buddy jumps on his chest and starts licking his face. He squeezes his eyes close and purses his lips in. This habit of Buddy was because of two assholes: one who taught him and one who didn't have the heart to stop it. He blindly reaches for Eiji and tugs his long hair.

"Ow, what?" Ash points at Buddy as if asking his husband to pull their dog off or else Buddy won't move till he physically gets up.

"Do it yourself." Eiji says flippantly and he can hear his husband move out of his reach. He sighs and gets up. Buddy stays there, with his paws on Ash's shoulders giving him what would be considered a hug. Ash pats his back and scratches his head because Buddy is the best dog, it's his Eiji who's the jerk.

"Good morning." Eiji says as he perches his chin on Ash's shoulder. There's a blinding smile on his face that gives Ash all the vitamin D he needs. "I would kiss you but you're kinda gross right now." His lips are still pursed so he hopes his glare can relay the message instead.

He washes his face - the cold water gives him shivers - and brushes his teeth as well for he knows if he doesn't, Eiji will give him a pointed look till he's forced to. 

"Come on Ash, how long are you going to make me wait?" Eiji whines and rolls on the bed. "I want to eat the chocolates that you made."

Ash gasps and there's evident betrayal in his eyes as he walks out of the bathroom to face his husband. "You  _ shaw _ ?" He asks through a mouthful of toothpaste.

"I didn't see what you  _ made _ ," Eiji deadpans, "I just saw the  _ mess _ and understood."

Ash rolls his eyes and spits out the toothpaste. Great, he doesn't even have a surprise.

"Hey don't make that face. I still don't know what kind of chocolate you made."

"Chocolate is chocolate."

"No it's not. The kind that you made are definitely special." Eiji says from the bathroom door.

He turns Eiji around and holds his hips to maneuver him into the kitchen. Their home isn't anything extravagant but it is warm and comfortable and lovely. It isn't as lavish as the condo nor is it rundown like some of the places he's lived. Eiji completed his first big project a month ago while Ash started working in a university after getting his degree. He is doing better with his humble husband and affectionate dog. Their lives have only just started; there's still a long way to go. 

Ash stops before removing the tray of chocolate from the fridge, squinting his eyes at Eiji. His husband frowns when Ash asks him to sit on the stool beside the kitchen aisle while he himself goes to fetch the NoriNori scarf from their cupboard. Buddy moves along with him.

"There's still a little preparation left and I'd love it if you don't see that." Ash says as he uses the scarf as a blindfold and shuts off Eiji's view. "Too tight?"

"A little." 

Ash loosens the knot. "Okay?"

"Yep." Buddy circles around the stool and settles beside Eiji's legs. "You could have asked me to close my eyes."

"You know you do crazy shit when you're excited and this is something you were rooting for. No, can't have you do that." He says as he places the silicone trays on the counter.

"You have so little trust me. You wound me, Ash." Eiji sighs, complete with his hand on his heart and shoulders slumped. 

He chuckles and Eiji joins him after a second. "Okay now stop, this part is hard."

Eiji hums in acknowledgement, looking in Ash's general direction. His hands are sweaty as he puts them under the tray to pop off the chocolate. His husband usually does the delicate work since his mother used to have a bakery and he was experienced in that kind of stuff but now that Ash has to do it by himself, he's not very confident.

Slowly, ever so slowly, he peels off the silicone from the sides. But he isn't so successful since he breaks it. "Fuck." He curses. It's one of the flatter ones; he moves on to try his luck with the small and more rounder ones.

"Flip it on a plate and tap it a little before removing the chocolates. That should make your task easier." Eiji supplies and Ash follows the instruction.

Ash takes a spoon and taps the back of the sheet with it.

" _ Gently _ , Ash!"

"Sorry." He uses his hand and completes his work.

"Now lift off the sheet; it should be easier for you to pull them out." Eiji repeats.

"Okay," he bends down to their level and holds a corner of the sheet. But his hands are frozen on that spot. "Eiji, I can't." He whines.

"You can, Ash." Eiji bends forward on the counter. "You have been working on this for - I don't know how long - and this is your moment to shine." He uses the shitty motivation from your football coach in a sports movie voice. "You can do it Ash!" He cheers as if Ash was going to score a goal any moment now. Buddy startles at the noise but settles back when he realizes it's his idiot master.

Ash laughs at his husband's dramatics. "Yeah, okay." He bites the inside of his cheek as he lifts up the silicone. The chocolates hang from it and Ash pulls them down on the plate.

"Ash, you're supposed to update me."

"I got them. Thanks."

"See? I told you!" He hops down from the stool and Buddy moves to Ash since his Eiji isn't going to calm down any sooner. "Can I see them?" He hovers his hands on the scarf.

"No, wait." 

Eiji slumps on the chair. " _ Ash _ !"

Ash arranges them in a circle, not waiting for some creative idea to strike him since he doesn't want the lovely man sitting opposite to him to wait any longer. "Done." He takes Eiji's hand and walks him in front of the plate. His lover reaches for his jaw and places a kiss on his cheek. 

There's a subtle blush on Ash's cheeks and a hell lot of anxiety in his mind when he pulls off the scarf covering Eiji's eyes. 

Eiji blinks a few times to adjust to the brightness. When he sees the plate, small chocolates in the shape of hearts adorned on it, he gasps. "Is this-"

" _Honmei choco_." Ash completes, biting his lip.

" _ Ashu _ ," Eiji whispers like he's sharing a secret. His accent becomes stronger when he's emotional; Ash hopes that those emotions aren't negative. "Thank you so very much." His eyes are overflowing with emotion.

Ash holds a piece of chocolate and Eiji bites into it. 

"Ash, it's  _ lovely _ ! Thank you for this."

Ash laughs softly. "Welcome."

Eiji wraps his hands possessively around the plate. "They're all mine."

"Of course." He kisses Eiji in between his shoulders. "I made those for us," he points at the flatter heart shaped ones, "but I can't remove them."

Eiji chuckles and pulls at the sides of the silicone to loosen the chocolate. He removes all four of them without cracking any. He takes one and breaks it into two halves.

"Ah, Eiji. You broke my heart." Eiji only chuckles and holds up the piece for Ash. The chocolate is warm and sweet in Ash's mouth. Buddy jumps to ask for a piece and Eiji gives him some peanut butter instead. He pulls his husband closer, kissing his lips and the warmth explodes in his entire being. He never knew the feeling of being complete till he met Eiji.

"By the way, you have one month to gift me something nice and lovely."

Eiji laughs and it's sweeter than any dessert there ever is. "What if I tell you, I've already chosen something for you?" He winks at Ash.

"It has to be something romantic; you can't give me pumpkins!" It was that one fateful time in his life when Buddy was suffering from indigestion and his vet suggested feeding him some of the horrendous fruit. He cried with Buddy in his arms for hours. Eiji bought some canned pumpkins since Ash would quite literally die if there was a big ass pumpkin lying in the corner of the living room. And since they were in their fridge, Ash may or may not have touched them and shrieked so loud he woke up the neighbors. That happened around the same time two years ago.

Eiji smiles remiscently and heads towards the fridge. "Okay. Now it's my turn to give you something sweet." He tilts his head with a frown on his face and Eiji removes a cake tin.

"Fuck yeah!" Ash exclaims like a child. Eiji starts working on it right away. He cuts off the top crust and puts it aside - because Ash loves it - and cuts the remaining cake into three sections. It has a rich dark and chocolatey hue to it and the moist dense texture that makes Ash's mouth water. Eiji brings out the vanilla cream next and adds a tinge of red food coloring to make it a soft shade of pink.

Ash plasters himself on Eiji's back and circles his arms around his husband's hips. The sudden shift of focus is a little hard on him. "Eiji, can I help?"

"No, this is  _ my _ treat for  _ you _ ."

Ash pouts. "Please?"

Eiji only hums a negative and pretends as if Ash isn't squeezing his hips with his arms. 

He kisses Eiji's neck and cheek, poking his belly alternately and rubbing his face to his silky long hair but nothing distracts his husband from his work. 

Ash has a PhD in literature; he's a sensitive person, he can only deal with that sort of immense ignorance for so long.

" _ Eiji _ ," he whines, "what kind of a marriage are we in where you don't even pay attention to your husband?"

Eiji completes spreading the extra cream from between the layers along the sides of the cake and taps the spatula on his chin. "Maybe it's a platonic marriage. Maybe I should call you bro."

Ash feels like he's been stabbed. He knows the feeling. Intimately. "What did you just call me?" His body shudders.

Eiji takes another of the chocolates that Ash made for him and bites into it. "Oh, you know, b-"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up." Ash walks away from Eiji, hands covering his ears and towards Buddy. He holds their Labrador's face with the most earnest expression on his face. "I make the best chocolate for my Eiji and this is the thanks I get? Calling me  _ that _ ? It's just you and me now Buddy."

"Hey don't steal Buddy away from me!"

"He's an innocent dog, he doesn't need to get maligned-"

Eiji whistles and Buddy forgets everything and rushes to him. He softly coos at their dog and feeds him a little cream off of his fingers.

"Fine then, you both leave me alone." Ash grumbles and turns away from them.

Eiji walks up to him and squats down, poking his cheek. "Ash?" But he doesn't respond.

"Aslan, the love of my life, my almost b-"

He tugs Eiji's hair and since his husband was balancing his entire weight on his toes, he falls into Ash's lap. "Choose your next words wisely."

Eiji smiles with tenderness in his eyes. "I love you." All the things that happened in the past few minutes were a joke but that confession isn't; there's the same sincerity in Eiji's eyes from when they read their views to each other alone in the secret wedding they arranged for themselves before they had one for the relatives.

"I hate the effect you have on me." He sighs and kisses Eiji. They would have never broken off from that kiss had Buddy not licked Ash's head. " _ Buddy _ !" Eiji laughs and rolls down from his lap while he washes his face. 

He helps Eiji up on his feet after he dries off his hands. "Do you have some extra chocolate?" His husband asks as he looks at his cake from all angles. 

Ash blushes a little. "I have a lot left." He pulls out a large bowl full of melted chocolate from the fridge and Eiji looks at it with widened eyes. 

"I thought you were being sarcastic."

"It was my first time, Eiji, I didn't know the measurements." Ash shoves the bowl into the microwave.

"Understandable."

When he gets the right consistency, he pours it over the cake. That only takes up half a bowl of chocolate.

"Can I take a small bite?"

"No, we have to cool it first. And then, I pipe the cream on it. And we cool it again."

"A small piece won't hurt."

"Ash, if you eat it now, my mom is going to come running all the way from Japan with a spatula in her hand to beat my ass for letting you get away with it. And we don't want that." Eiji says as he puts the cake back into the fridge.

Ash puts on his best pout but Eiji doesn't budge. Ash sighs and takes a piece of the chocolate he made for them. "What about that?" He points at the bowl of melted chocolate.

Eiji eyes it and shrugs. "You know, it's good for skin."

Before he can retort, Eiji smears some of it on his cheek. "Eiji." He warns his husband but Eiji ignores it and smears some on the other cheek. "Eiji, stop." Lastly, he smears some above Ash's lips in the shape of a moustache, giggling to himself. "Okay, that's it!"

Ash dips his palm into the bowl and Eiji immediately starts walking away from him. "Ash, that's a lot." He follows after his husband with his hand held like a weapon. 

Eiji has the misfortune of being trapped after he crashes his back to the wall and Ash towers over him with a shit eating grin on his face. "Ash." He whines pleadingly and if he was Buddy, Ash might have conceded. 

He doesn't respond, only brings his hand closer to Eiji's face. 

" _ Ash _ !"

**Author's Note:**

> Phew! That was a lot. In my defense I just _really_ love Ash and Eiji. Do leave a comment if you liked this monstrosity, it would really brighten up my day. If you hate Dino and think a lot about the fact the Ash is afraid of pumpkins here's my [Tumblr.](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/justficit) Have a lovely day!


End file.
